Solitude and Emptiness

There’s a peeling sort of feeling,
From the cogs in my chest.
They turn without stopping,
Never at rest.

Relentless and unyielding,
This twisting, winding feeling.
The tautness I’m concealing,
I’m never at rest.

It’s a pain that churns through me,
I can’t look you in the eye.
It hurts me to be near you,
But I don’t know why.

I need emptiness,
Silence is best.
Blank friendlessness,
Or I can’t be at rest.

It’s not that I don’t like you,
Or you or you or them.
But I want to break free of you,
Of any you or them.

I can’t look at faces,
Or hear voices or sounds.
I don’t want to hear your music
Or feel that you’re around.

The corkscrew keeps on turning,
Turning in my chest.
I’m on the verge of bursting,
I can’t get any rest.

I don’t expect you to understand,
I don’t understand myself.
But when I meet people who get it,
The relief is something else.

I love to be in company,
When I’m at my best.
But I think that to do so,
I need a lot of rest.


Image: Emptiness, KMN 2015