Alienation: A Lifetime’s Worth

Hey there….. Are you OK?… Are you sure?
What is it? Whats wrong?

Melancholy fills me, lethargic and dull.
I feel uninspired and I know its this place, this environment this home.
These people, they crush me.
They are so unfamiliar, I am alien to them.
Bemused faces.
Explanations. Tied up in knots.
They don’t follow.
My head is tired.
My heart is tired.
I can’t go on in this mess.
They tire me.
I am not what they can so easily be.
A person.
I am not.
I can’t explain.
Alienation. At the very core.
A self, shattered before it was born.

© Katy Matilda Neo, written 2005, updated for publication 2017